You probably wonder why I end up writing this post at 1 am. I feel unsure why I feel this way, and I feel so restless about not letting this feeling out. Was it because I feel like I am not ready to bloom into adulthood? Was it because I am not sure if I can manage myself? Was it because my routine is not the same anymore? Was it because I hate myself for lacking communication? Was it because I could not convey what I wanted to explain in words? Was it because I was eating Mcd almost every day? 

There are so many things that I'm not sure about. Is that the main reason why I feel this way? But one thing I am sure of, I have so many fears beneath my blood. I can feel it triggers my emotions. I fear losing my parents. I fear death. I fear I was unable to cope with adulting. I fear changes. I fear I might lose myself. I fear depression. I fear I will be left alone one day. I was thinking about stopping texting people. I feel like it's burdensome. Not for me but them. I don't know why I always fear that, but I always text them. 

I want to talk. I want to talk about every little thing that I felt, what's happening throughout the day. How I feel. I want to feel connected. But idk

I wish I am not the type that overthinks too much. Adios.