An introvert who love nature,peace and cats I am born with critical mind thinking,deep words and prefer a private life. Blog active since 2009. You call this diary and i call it 'journal' ―journal of my life. I keep my thoughts, moments, feeling and reflection. You only live once, CHIN UP!

1 November 2016, Tuesday, November 01, 2016

Fuh, i been mia for quite long time and deactive this blog since 3 month ago. Oh actually i did not realize that this blog is on private mood lol sorry i'm not in a good state of mind. Basically during my morning writing routine; i miss this dust blog. so here i am writing again :) well, it is my first morning writing today, yes i knew about this amazing routine few days ago, so yeah, i should give a try and see how it's works for me but i knew writing is an important part to express yourself ;)

Well last few week, my mood were unstable. I cried laugh sleep and thinking thinking thinking. I even cried when madam S shared her hard times about how she lost herself. She said that she was thinking where did her true self go? Her passion, her dream, her happiness. What did she do to herself until she did not realize she choosed the wrong path. I understand her so bad because i through the same thing. At least she knows her passion compare to this stupid girl who knows nothing about herself, happiness and passion. I talk less, feel lost and empty for awhile.

Thats a recap on what's happent to me last few days, weeks and a month. Haha this year is so challenging! Well i guess all the maturity comes from the hardship kan? I faced and think the same things like madam. lol i think madam also wandering why did i cried lol. sorry madam and love, its not a sympathy for you because all of us struggles in the different ways. Your words always inspiring me, you start to get over yourself and finding a way to improve the problems in your head. You forever in my heart madam! love you :)

"Someday you will look back at all the progress you’ve made and be so glad you didn’t give up when you felt like that was your only option."

17 June 2016, Friday, June 17, 2016

assalamualaikum and hi peeps!

its been a long time since this blog is fully updated. A hectic life as a student.. erm a hectic mind? ahaa. i lost in my own world, fears, worries, thoughts called generalized anxiety disorders. A hardest battle to stay living, stronger and moving on. I prevent myself from taking any medicate since the side effect were very dangerous (for student like meh). Most of the time, i cant breath or fall asleep easily. pray for my recovery process hu~

people say the older you get, the wiser you become. really? 

and i feel very anxious about everything since i am about to enter the 'adulthood'. The choices that i make is based on the requirement that i need to think. It is no longer for me. it is for my parents, family, future, jobs, studies, country (sound noob), dream, happiness and more! as someone who prefer to 'play safe', it would be harder for me to survive on this journey. when i think too much, or be extra careful about the choice, making a decision that i didnt know whether it is the best for me or not. 

people say; why dont u give a try?

then after trying session, u are no longer capatible to stay on the road, what will you do? choose another thing and try? no kan? u have to stay strong and trying to survive. macam ah orang kesah kalau kau mati time surviving an. sbb this is your own battle. people dont give a shit bout you ok!

the holes that u dig, u enter lah. kalau berjaya keluar dari holes tu, tahniah!

So I am searching for the lights- to light up the path that i am taking in the future, the choice that i made in the past, and the successful that i gain after the hardship.

19 November 2015, Thursday, November 19, 2015

I often marvel at how some people who profess to be very knowledgeable in matters of our religion can be severely lacking when it comes to putting it into practice. How could one who excels in theory, fail in miserably in practical. I am believer of the saying ' Practice what You preach'. Then, my wise man unraveled the mystery behind it, He said:

       Whilst certain people posses vast knowledge, they lack the understanding but there are people who know very little but the little that they know, they understand wholeheartedly. That is why we would find some people who put their knowledge to use but just as a ritualistic daily act, devoid of meaning. For example, some people pray religiously but the way they carry themselves outside prayer times is totally contradictory. I suppose it is this lack of understanding of the effect that prayers are to have on a person that, they behave the way they do.

At first I did not get it. I mean, how difficult it is to understand? By having more religious knowledge than the man in the street, so naturally, it would mean, the one should behave better  and be a better role model.

He point to me that, like everything else in this world, understanding comes from God. He can choose to whom He gives the knowledge as well as understanding. Knowledge can be acquired through book etc. but understanding must come from the Al-Mighty. Knowledge without understanding is a great loss because it is a kind to having given a device without the manual on how to operate or use it.

How do we acquired the 'understanding'?Simple, we ask for it. Whom do we ask? We ask from God Al-Mighty. All we need to do is sincerely ask for it. Remember, the operative word is 'sincerely'.

'' And you Lord says: ''Call on Me; I will answer you(prayer): but those who are too arrogant to serve Me will surely find themselves in Hell- in humiliation!'' (Quran40:60)

book: Trying to be a Muslim. 

Be like a tree and let the dead leaves drop - Rumi
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